Growing old is required. Growing up is optional.

I recently went on a teacher's trip with my school. (Basically, all the teachers get on a bus after the students leave, and we drive to a town two hours away to eat dinner, sing karaoke, stay the night, and maybe visit a museum. It's mostly an excuse for the teachers to get drunk together, but more about that in another post.) I was especially excited because we were going to a place that has been on my list of places to visit in Korea. Gunsan. Now, some might wonder why I would want to visit such a place. It's not very big or prominent. Chances are, if you don't live in Korea, you've probably never heard of it. But, to me, Gunsan is a special place. It's the place where I like to think the relationship between Korea and my family began. Gunsan is the place my grandpa was stationed during the Korean War. My Grandpa Willis was a cook in the army during the last 6 months of the Korean War. I also have two uncles and an aunt who lived in Korea as missio...

There comes a day when you sit down at lunch and realize that the tentacles in floating in your soup don't phase you. They don't even gross you out a little bit.  In fact, you find you have come to quite like the tentacles. And the bones in the fish are much easier to navigate around with chop sticks. Even the smelly fermented soybean soup isn't so bad after a while. Throwing toilet paper in the trash can instead of flushing it no longer seems like the disgusting thing it was 6 months ago. You hardly notice people staring at you anymore. You're kind of used to not really understanding what's going on. You've accepted the fact that your co-teachers will never stop asking when you're going to get a boyfriend, so you might as well just go hiking with that group from your co-teacher's husband's institute. You realize that Seoul, a place that used to seem so far away and exotic, is now a favorite weekend getaway, full of excitement and hijinks. ...

You know when spring time comes around in Provo and it seems like everyone and their pet hamster is dating, and your refrigerator starts to fill up with wedding announcements, and you become painfully aware of your own singleness? Korea is kind of like that. All the time. But without the wedding announcements. (Though enough of my English teacher friends seem to have been to weddings here...) In fact, I think the couple-iness of Korea is worse. Imagine awkwardly reserved PDA (because somehow it's a lot of PDA without actually being a lot of PDA), coupled with couple-y clothes and accessories. Matching sweaters, matching shoes, matching jackets, matching pants, matching phone charms, matching hats, and even matching sweat suits - chances are their underwear matches as well. Added to all of this, I'm quite sure I have been told that I need a boyfriend/husband more in the last three months I have been in Korea than in the full three years I spent at BYU (the Mecca of Mormon Ma...

The last three months living in Korea have been amazing. More than amazing. Magical. Everything I could have ever hoped for. But, sometimes I get homesick. Like today. Today, I miss mild St. George winters as I shiver through snow flurries that are only the beginning of a daunting Korean winter. I miss having small children visit regularly, running around grandma and grandpa's house, making a mess, and giving sticky, smiley, slobbery kisses. I miss being able to go to the grocery store and have small talk with the cashier as I check out, instead of awkwardly nodding to the questions that I don't understand. I miss my king size bed and my giant bear, Honey Muffin Sugar Buns. I miss walking from my room to the kitchen and passing mom in the living room watching reality tv and hearing hunting shows coming from my parent's bedroom as dad rests after a long day at work. I miss grandpa's Wednesday visits and fresh garden vegetables. I miss freezers full of f...

This last weekend, some friends and I decided that we needed a trip to Seoul. So, we packed our bags and hopped on a train Friday night to begin our adventure! We stayed at a hostel near Namsan Tower (which we unfortunately only saw from a distance during this trip), and ventured out from there. Saturday we spent at Lotte World, which is a giant indoor amusement park (our second choice of amusement parks, but Seoulland was out of the question when we woke up to rain). Our day was complete with rides, amusement park food, and animal ears. We stopped by the Seoul lantern festival before turning in at the end of our extremely fun, but extremely exhausting, day. Sunday we spent exploring. Gwanghwamun and Gyeongbok Palace were first on our list. And, I must say, I could spend forever exploring historical sites in Korea and never be bored. They are just so beautiful and so different from what we are used to in the States. I love the mix of traditional and modern that you find in Seoul....

Over the last two months, I have experienced many, many, many new things. And, as I have previously mentioned, a good number of these new experiences are awkward and/or difficult. I have learned that there are many ways that you can deal with the awkward and difficult. You can hide from it, you can cry about it, you can get angry over it, or you can laugh it off. Personally, I have chosen laughter as my coping mechanism. For example, there are days when you come home and realize you have to eat something. And then you remember that you don't really know how to use the microwave. Or read the directions on the package. And you just have to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. What single, 22 year old woman living on her own, doesn't know how to use a microwave?? Other days, you go to restaurants with friends and none of you have any idea what the waitress is trying to tell you, and you all stare at her confusedly until a nice Korean man who speaks perfect English tak...

Today, while browsing various sources for a topic for my teacher's workshop class, I came across the following TED Talk. I used to have a small notebook I carried around with me that had a list of the things that I wanted to do in life. A "bucket list" of sorts. It somehow got lost in the shuffle of moving across the Pacific, and I hadn't thought much of it. But, after watching this video, I thought maybe it was time to re-evaluate the things I want to do before I die. Before I die, I want to... - Learn another language. - Stand at the top of the world's tallest building. - Fall in love. - Travel the world. - Buy something at Tiffany's. - Be a wife and mother. - Make a difference in someone's life. (There are many, many things I could add to this list. Meet a Korean celebrity, own a yellow mustang convertible, have my own personal library, learn to use the floor heating in my apartment...But I won't bore you with all of the wish...

Just over one year ago, I decided to step out of my self-imposed, post-graduation, living-with-mom-and-dad bubble for a weekend and go on a camping trip with my young single adult ward. There was nothing particularly spectacular about it, and only a handful of people came, but going on that camping trip was one of the best decisions I ever made. That camping trip was where I met one of the best friends that I have ever had. Kelsey Petersen. I'm calling you out. We became friends at a critical time in my life. A time when I was lost and confused. A time that was full of stress, anxiety, and depression. A time when I felt like I had very few people I could really talk to about the things that were weighing me down. Kelsey kept me sane. She was there when I needed to complain. She is the reason I have way too much Ke$ha in my music library. She was my partner in crime. She understood my love of Korean things, and even started watching Korean dramas and listening to K-Pop with ...

If there is one thing that I have learned in Korea, it's that sometimes you just have to embrace the awkward. And trust me, living in a new place with a new culture and a new language leaves PLENTY of opportunity for awkward. Awkward bowing. Awkward hand shaking. Awkwardly handing things to people. Awkward responses to questions. Awkwardly standing there while others talk about you in Korean. Awkward explanations of American slang and habits. Awkward tagging-along. Awkward shoulder shrugging. Awkwardly asking people to translate for you. Awkward Amber. All of these things happen to me. ALL the time. Now, lest we all go thinking that Amber has suddenly become awkward, let's take a moment to remember that Amber has ALWAYS been awkward. This Korean experience is simply adding to a talent that I already possess. It's wonderful. (Korea has yet to deaden my sense of sarcasm.) But, really. Some days I feel like such an awkward, friendless potato that I want to cry. Most of...

In case you were wondering, living in a foreign country, especially one that speaks a different language, is hard. Things like setting up a bank account and getting a cell phone would have been nearly impossible if not for my wonderful co-teachers. It's a strange feeling to be almost completely dependent on someone translating for you. I barely know how to say "excuse me" to someone on the bus (but no one really ever says anything on the bus, so it's ok). And don't get me started on grocery shopping. Oh, dear. Grocery shopping. Grab the things that look the most familiar and hand over your card when you're done. But, despite how hard it is, it's fun. And exciting. And beautiful. And totally worth it. I have an indescribable feeling of  belonging, of being exactly where I'm supposed to be, even while being the odd one out. And it is amazingly wonderful. Let me tell you why. Yes, there is a language barrier. But most people are patient and will do ...

Well, I finally made it. I'm officially living and working in Daejeon! It's exciting and terrifying and beautiful all at the same time! I had an awesome week at Jeonju University for EPIK teacher orientation, where I made some wonderful friends and learned a lot about teaching English in Korea, and I arrived in Daejeon on Tuesday. I have been busy at school and getting settled in (and let's admit it, I've been dead tired), but decided today would be a good day to update the blog. Let's start with my new apartment. Basically, it's a box. But I kind of love it. One thing I love about Korea is that basically all doors have keypad locks, so you don't have to worry about carrying a key! The entryway. See how there's a little area for you to take off your shoes before you go in? Very Korean. This is my kitchen. A single burner stove, a sink, some cupboards, a microwave, a fridge, and a little counter space. Oh, and don't forget the wash...

The last week of my life has been CRAZY! I finished up work a week and a half ago, and then decided I needed to visit my sisters before leaving the country. Two days in Salt Lake and two days in Fruita left me three and a half days to finish my preparations for moving abroad. Needless to say, the last three days have been killer. First off, let me just say that trying to fit your entire life for the next year into 2 fifty-pound checked bags, a carry-on, and a backpack -- not easy. In fact, I failed. (FYI, $39 upgrade to first class for my LAS to LAX flight = free overweight luggage + an item checked off my bucket list. Totally worth it.) Luckily, I have awesome parents who are willing to pay the overweight luggage (upgrade) fee. Today I spent all morning running around. Last minute shopping, desperate repacking, cleaning, and panicking when the zipper on my carry-on bag broke. It was great. Not to mention, the nerves have started to set in. It was bound to happen. I mean, the girl ...

Last week I spent some time skyping with a good friend I haven't talked to in a while. During our conversation, she said that she thought it would be interesting (and kind of creepy) to be able to put her current mind in her 5-year old body -- how she would see the world differently, what choices she would make differently. This got me thinking, what would I do differently if I knew when I was younger what I know now? In all honesty, I don't think I would change any choices I have made up to this point in my life, because those are the choices (the good and the bad) that have brought me to where I am -- and I'm pretty happy with that. But, I still like to think about what advice I would give to a younger me... Be confident in yourself. You are beautiful and strong and more capable than you give yourself credit for. Don't be afraid to take chances. Not everything works out, but that's ok. You'll never know unless you try. Don't let your fear of doing some...

When I tell people that I am moving to Korea to teach English, I usually get basically the same responses. "Really?! That's awesome." "I know someone who taught English in China and they loved it!" "Do you speak Korean?" Yes, it is awesome. Most people I've heard about going to China are volunteers that pay their own way, I'm going to be an actual teacher that gets paid (not to brag or anything). And, no, I don't speak Korean, but you can bet I'm going to learn. I don't often get asked why, but I know that there are those out there who are curious as to why I decided to teach English in Korea. So, I guess it's story time (and this could be a long story): Once upon a time, just two weeks before her last finals before graduation, Amber sat alone in her apartment. Her roommates were studying or gone for the weekend and the effort to find out if the neighbors were doing anything fun that night was too much. After all, some...