The last three months living in Korea have been amazing. More than amazing. Magical. Everything I could have ever hoped for.
But, sometimes I get homesick.
Like today.
Today, I miss mild St. George winters as I shiver through snow flurries that are only the beginning of a daunting Korean winter.
I miss having small children visit regularly, running around grandma and grandpa's house, making a mess, and giving sticky, smiley, slobbery kisses.
I miss being able to go to the grocery store and have small talk with the cashier as I check out, instead of awkwardly nodding to the questions that I don't understand.
I miss my king size bed and my giant bear, Honey Muffin Sugar Buns.
I miss walking from my room to the kitchen and passing mom in the living room watching reality tv and hearing hunting shows coming from my parent's bedroom as dad rests after a long day at work.
I miss grandpa's Wednesday visits and fresh garden vegetables.
I miss freezers full of fish and wild game.
I miss having easy access to a car and gym.
I miss night runs through our neighborhood and butt-kicking spin classes.
I miss grandpa's pecan pie.
I miss being able to understand what's going on at church without the help of a translator.
I miss the feeling of sitting in a room full of people and understanding the conversation and being able to contribute and not feeling like an awkward foreign potato.
Today, I feel inadequate for the job that I am doing. I feel lost in translation. I feel like a burden to others. I feel like I can hardly do anything on my own. I feel lonely as I sit in my box of an apartment, contemplating how hard life in Korea really is.
I know there is a reason I'm here, and I wouldn't trade my life here for anything, but some days it's hard.
So, while tomorrow is a new day, and I will likely wake up optimistic and ready to face a new day and a new challenge in Korea, tonight, I'm going to be blue. And I'm going listen to a playlist of G-Dragon, T.O.P., and fifty Taylor Swift songs. And maybe I'll cry a little bit while I think about the preparations for Thanksgiving festivities going on back home.
But that's ok. Because when homesickness hits, sometimes a day like today is just what you need.
(A hug would also help...)
But, sometimes I get homesick.
Like today.
Today, I miss mild St. George winters as I shiver through snow flurries that are only the beginning of a daunting Korean winter.
I miss having small children visit regularly, running around grandma and grandpa's house, making a mess, and giving sticky, smiley, slobbery kisses.
I miss being able to go to the grocery store and have small talk with the cashier as I check out, instead of awkwardly nodding to the questions that I don't understand.
I miss my king size bed and my giant bear, Honey Muffin Sugar Buns.
I miss walking from my room to the kitchen and passing mom in the living room watching reality tv and hearing hunting shows coming from my parent's bedroom as dad rests after a long day at work.
I miss grandpa's Wednesday visits and fresh garden vegetables.
I miss freezers full of fish and wild game.
I miss having easy access to a car and gym.
I miss night runs through our neighborhood and butt-kicking spin classes.
I miss grandpa's pecan pie.
I miss being able to understand what's going on at church without the help of a translator.
I miss the feeling of sitting in a room full of people and understanding the conversation and being able to contribute and not feeling like an awkward foreign potato.
Today, I feel inadequate for the job that I am doing. I feel lost in translation. I feel like a burden to others. I feel like I can hardly do anything on my own. I feel lonely as I sit in my box of an apartment, contemplating how hard life in Korea really is.
I know there is a reason I'm here, and I wouldn't trade my life here for anything, but some days it's hard.
So, while tomorrow is a new day, and I will likely wake up optimistic and ready to face a new day and a new challenge in Korea, tonight, I'm going to be blue. And I'm going listen to a playlist of G-Dragon, T.O.P., and fifty Taylor Swift songs. And maybe I'll cry a little bit while I think about the preparations for Thanksgiving festivities going on back home.
But that's ok. Because when homesickness hits, sometimes a day like today is just what you need.
(A hug would also help...)
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